His message this time is no more insightful than last time, but at least it comes with a helpful picture!! Of various Science™ things all jammed in a dusty cardboard box, including beakers, pipettes, little petri dishes, and more. There's also some fingerprinting ink casually dumped in there too.
He was about to immediately throw it out into the trash, but sometimes he has one (1) brain cell and remembers other people exist. ]
[ Should he tell her that he moved? He should probably tell her that he moved.
.......
He'll tell her two minutes into her run that he's moved, with a handy little map that has a circle around one building. (do they even have a map app on their bracelet???? they do now)
Anyway he is not outside waiting for her because he has Stuff he needs to be doing, most of which involves critically eyeballing the decorations inside said new house and throwing anything that looks even remotely sus into the bin he's carrying around with him.
Well that just means Ema will be 50% wheezier and sweatier when she does explode through his front door like she's the FBI, not even bothering to knock. ]
I'm here!
[ wheeze pant wheeze
Without as little as an acknowledgment that Eustace exists, her eyes dart around the room in search of the goods. Where are they!! ]
[ She barks like she's a Navy SEAL on some high-risk extraction mission. She dashes deeper into his house and quickly finds the only set of stairs leading down. A corner of her mind wonders if she's actually being baited into some licentious den of iniquity, but for science, she will take that risk. She ventures down the steps and into the darkness.
[ For once, the irritation in his face is only half due to Ema's shenanigans. The rest of it is directed at the Augur, who is no doubt laughing at him right now. ]
I don't know. I only asked for the house.
[ Also, there is no box in her hands? What is she doing if not picking up her box?? He stops his tidying to stare at her - kind of hard not to, when she's a foot in front of him - though he ignores her wildly gesticulating hand. ]
[ She snaps back into Mission Mode at even the vaguest of suggestions that she might not be taking the box away. After staring at him suspiciously for a few seconds, she decides that he really doesn't know why his basement is a laboratory and abruptly turns away to fetch said box.
......
And just doesn't come back up.
Because she unpacked the box just to take inventory, but then everything was in such miserable condition, so of course she had to start cleaning everything until it was all looking brand new again, and she just had to make sure that the microscope was functioning properly, so she started examining fingerprints and playing with the ink, and— ]
[ Bye Ema, thanks for the peace and quiet. Except that it gets a little too quiet, because the happy thump thump of footsteps down the strairs never comes back up.
...........
After ten minutes the lack of Ema just gets suspicious, and he puts down his box to head downstairs after her. He expects to see Ema, who is still there, but he doesn't expect to see all the stuff that was previously in the box now spread out all over the counters.
He can feel a headache coming on. ]
Why did you take everything out of the box?
[ And why is she still here?? This is becoming a common theme with her, it seems. ]
[ Ema nearly drops the glass pipette she was using to schloop up some tap water, but manages to fumble it back into her hands, thank god. She heaves a sigh of relief before looking up at Eustace not unlike a dog caught eating something it shouldn't be. ]
This is lab equipment! It belongs in a lab!
[ She looks at her glorious (if sparse) spread of sciencethings both unhappily and with utmost conviction. ]
Listen. I hate to admit it, but my apartment isn't the most productive place for precise experimentation. I'm pretty sure there isn't a level surface in the entire building. And let's not even get into the lack of ventilation. Subpar safety standards kill, you know.
[ She straightens and plants her hands on her hips, looking around at the lab. ]
But this! It's spacious! It's clean! It's utterly magnificent! It begs to be filled... with science!
[ Yeah, that's definitely the beginning signs of a headache right there.
He would rather this whole place be filled with normal basement things but apparently that was a doomed dream from the moment the robots got to work. ]
Just ask for a separate lab for yourself.
[ She has a card of her own, surely she can make use of it. ]
[ Guess who has been SLACKING on the Eros front. Sometimes you have more fun squatting over suspicious things with your magnifying glass than shacking up with people, so sue her. (Except don't, there are too many bored lawyers present.)
Anyway she knows she's been slacking, which is why she chooses not to make eye contact with Eustace at this moment. Don't look at her. ]
In the meantime, this lab is perfectly functional. You won't even know I'm here! And you'll have the power of science at your fingertips!
[ To be quite honest, he can't fault her for getting a slow start. Hooking up repeatedly with randos off the street isn't exactly what he would consider any average person's idea of a good time.
So he chooses not to press that point, because if she'd rather be horny for science than horny for people, who is he to judge? Even if he still wishes she wouldn't do it in his basement. But, whatever, he can see when he's fighting a losing battle. ]
Fine. Just don't make a mess. [ Oh, right— ] And knock next time.
[ Assuming she doesn't start living permanently in this lab. ]
[ His expression instantly flatlines at that horrendous outfit. He is definitely going to have a talk with the Augur about this. Later, after he picks out all the stray dildos out of the kitchen draws. Which he is going to back to doing, immediately turning right back around to march up the stairs. ]
[ Boy... dramatic much? Seems like a waste of a brand new outfit. She'll hide it away somewhere... just in case. Worst case, she can always dig up a thread and needle somewhere and make something of it for herself.
Anyway, now that peace has been restored, Ema happily gets back to playing with her new science toys. Congrats on your new basement-dwelling parasite housemate(???), Eustace. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
like two days after his last message
His message this time is no more insightful than last time, but at least it comes with a helpful picture!! Of various Science™ things all jammed in a dusty cardboard box, including beakers, pipettes, little petri dishes, and more. There's also some fingerprinting ink casually dumped in there too.
He was about to immediately throw it out into the trash, but sometimes he has one (1) brain cell and remembers other people exist. ]
Do you need any of this?
no subject
YES
ALL
I'll be right there!!!!
[ he might not even be at his apartment but she starts running at it anyway unless otherwise directed ]
no subject
.......
He'll tell her two minutes into her run that he's moved, with a handy little map that has a circle around one building. (do they even have a map app on their bracelet???? they do now)
Anyway he is not outside waiting for her because he has Stuff he needs to be doing, most of which involves critically eyeballing the decorations inside said new house and throwing anything that looks even remotely sus into the bin he's carrying around with him.
The door is unlocked, feel free to barge in. ]
no subject
Well that just means Ema will be 50% wheezier and sweatier when she does explode through his front door like she's the FBI, not even bothering to knock. ]
I'm here!
[ wheeze pant wheeze
Without as little as an acknowledgment that Eustace exists, her eyes dart around the room in search of the goods. Where are they!! ]
no subject
He spares her one glance before going straight back to his tidying. ]
It's in the basement.
[ Which is...actually a lab?? He didn't ask for this but the Augur works in mysterious ways. ]
1/2
[ She barks like she's a Navy SEAL on some high-risk extraction mission. She dashes deeper into his house and quickly finds the only set of stairs leading down. A corner of her mind wonders if she's actually being baited into some licentious den of iniquity, but for science, she will take that risk. She ventures down the steps and into the darkness.
THUMP THUMP thump thump thump thump thump thump...
The basement lights flicker on.
There is a muffled "YAAAAARK!" from down below.
... thump thump thump thump thump thump THUMP THUMP ]
2/2
Wh-wh-what is that?! Why does your basement look like that!
no subject
I don't know. I only asked for the house.
[ Also, there is no box in her hands? What is she doing if not picking up her box?? He stops his tidying to stare at her - kind of hard not to, when she's a foot in front of him - though he ignores her wildly gesticulating hand. ]
Are you taking the box or not?
no subject
[ She snaps back into Mission Mode at even the vaguest of suggestions that she might not be taking the box away. After staring at him suspiciously for a few seconds, she decides that he really doesn't know why his basement is a laboratory and abruptly turns away to fetch said box.
......
And just doesn't come back up.
Because she unpacked the box just to take inventory, but then everything was in such miserable condition, so of course she had to start cleaning everything until it was all looking brand new again, and she just had to make sure that the microscope was functioning properly, so she started examining fingerprints and playing with the ink, and— ]
no subject
...........
After ten minutes the lack of Ema just gets suspicious, and he puts down his box to head downstairs after her. He expects to see Ema, who is still there, but he doesn't expect to see all the stuff that was previously in the box now spread out all over the counters.
He can feel a headache coming on. ]
Why did you take everything out of the box?
[ And why is she still here?? This is becoming a common theme with her, it seems. ]
no subject
This is lab equipment! It belongs in a lab!
[ She looks at her glorious (if sparse) spread of sciencethings both unhappily and with utmost conviction. ]
Listen. I hate to admit it, but my apartment isn't the most productive place for precise experimentation. I'm pretty sure there isn't a level surface in the entire building. And let's not even get into the lack of ventilation. Subpar safety standards kill, you know.
[ She straightens and plants her hands on her hips, looking around at the lab. ]
But this! It's spacious! It's clean! It's utterly magnificent! It begs to be filled... with science!
1/3
no subject
3/3
He would rather this whole place be filled with normal basement things but apparently that was a doomed dream from the moment the robots got to work. ]
Just ask for a separate lab for yourself.
[ She has a card of her own, surely she can make use of it. ]
no subject
[ Guess who has been SLACKING on the Eros front. Sometimes you have more fun squatting over suspicious things with your magnifying glass than shacking up with people, so sue her. (Except don't, there are too many bored lawyers present.)
Anyway she knows she's been slacking, which is why she chooses not to make eye contact with Eustace at this moment. Don't look at her. ]
In the meantime, this lab is perfectly functional. You won't even know I'm here! And you'll have the power of science at your fingertips!
no subject
So he chooses not to press that point, because if she'd rather be horny for science than horny for people, who is he to judge? Even if he still wishes she wouldn't do it in his basement. But, whatever, he can see when he's fighting a losing battle. ]
Fine. Just don't make a mess. [ Oh, right— ] And knock next time.
[ Assuming she doesn't start living permanently in this lab. ]
no subject
Deal! And if you ever require me for your scientific needs, feel free to call!
[ What little came with the lab may not be much, but her arsenal will expand in the near future... She will become powerful.
She taps her chin, remembering something. ]
Oh, but you can have this. [ She pulls out the impractical lab outfit. ] It's way too big for me. Looks just your size, though.
no subject
Burn it.
[ Seriously, he never wants to see it again. ]
no subject
Anyway, now that peace has been restored, Ema happily gets back to playing with her new science toys. Congrats on your new
basement-dwelling parasitehousemate(???), Eustace. ]